Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Lady's Home Journal


I think there is a magazine with a similar name. Hopefully I won't be sued over using it in a similar yet different way.

I have been journaling since I was about 11. I have so many journals strewn around my life that I don't even know how many are stuffed here and there. Why do I journal? Lots of reasons. When I was young I had dreams, fantasies and aspirations for things higher than the present situation I found myself in. I also had a gift for it. Journaling comes easy to me. I started with a "diary" given my by my mother. That got me hooked. The little lock on it was so tiny and the key equally diminuative. I would start with the familiar, "Dear Diary". As I grew up the diary thing turned on me and several people invaded my world and made me regret ever fantasizing about anything.

I got over that. I no longer write fantasy down. Folks with weird perceptions don't understand that pretend and dreaming is normal to a teenaged girl. Let it suffice to say that I learned that I never put down on paper what I don't want the ENTIRE planet to know. People can't keep secrets and invasion of privacy is the norm not the exception.

As I grew to adulthood I learned that "talking out" my problems and perceptions helped me understand others better. I came to learn that other people don't necessarily think like I do or believe like I believe. I would document things God taught me along the pathways of life. I used it for a place to create poetry and song. I used journaling for documenting actual dreams that I felt were significant. I even documented other people's dreams in picture. I also have the ability to draw, another gift from God.

Journaling has become a regular thing with me. I don't journal everyday, but when something significant in my life comes along I write it down. Friends know that a journal is the perfect gift for me. I was given a most elaborate one recently. It was made in Tuscany (Italy) and is covered with tooled leather. It has a leather thong strap that wraps and ties around it. It smells wonderful and feels so textural in my hands. I only put my most imporant thoughts in it. It just seems right.

One of my favorite things to do when I make the time is to go and find old journals and revisit them. I see a cross section of my life during a specific time. I see how I reacted to hard situations and how I rejoiced at good times. I've seen maturity as it developed in my soul. I have even seen the seeds of patience sown in the soil of my heart, watered with the moistening of endurance and weeded of the roots of anxiousness. Those seeds have come to fruition over and over and made me know that God is working a work in me. He is not finished till the curtain is closed on my life and my journals become my memoires.

I don't know what will become of my journals when I go. I'm not afraid to be transparent with others. God has shown me that folks really need to know there are people who aren't afraid of living life honestly before the world. I have nothing to hide. My past is gone and I am living for today. Tomorrow isn't mine until it becomes today. I am content with where I am and looking forward to the moments God gives me each day.

I would encourage the strong and those who want to become strong to journal. Go slowly at first. Just write down things that you are confident in. Things you personally have lived. Never write down mad feelings about others. Those will come back at you as weapons. Just a note written in experience. Write down hard things too. You may have a shell of iron built around you, but others need to know you have survived hardships. You may cover yourself with a fig leaf, but we all have things we want to hide but need to confess to someone, anyone.

I journaled this morning. I am journaling now. Blogs are electronic diaries and journals. They have become the confessional of this century. They are very cathardic and as hard as life is today, a real necessity for the masses.

I hope you have enjoyed this lady's home journaling.

Cerise

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